Have you scheduled an initial couples therapy session in San Diego and wondering what to do next? Well first things first, congratulations! You have made a stellar choice for your relationship and you might want to thank yourselves for taking this vital step.
Couples therapy can help you overcome many issues you might be experiencing in your relationship; be it poor communication, lost trust, diminished intimacy, parenting differences, financial disagreements or strains, or conflicting personalities. Couples therapy may helps relationships that are at a breaking point.
Contrary to what many people believe, couples therapy is not about finding who to blame. Rather it’s about finding solutions to issues and, then, a way forward. Research has shown that couples therapy leads to significant improvements in relationship satisfaction.
If this is your first therapy session, here are a few tips on how to get ready and what to expect.
Complete All Paperwork Prior to the Initial Session
Before your initial appointment with a San Diego counselor, they’ll likely give you some paperwork to fill out and sign. This paperwork usually helps prepare you and the therapist as well as outlines informed consent. You might consider using this opportunity to go over your goals and concerns with your partner so you can go into your first therapy session prepared.
Some of the questions you might be asked to answer in the initial paperwork are designed to capture the current state of your relationship, your goals for the therapy and any concerns you might have. Be truthful and thorough with the answers.
It is common that one partner initiates couples therapy. Your session will be most effective if both partners are ready and willing to engage openly with the couple’s therapist.
Mental Preparation for Couple Therapy
The next thing you need to do as your therapy session nears is to prepare mentally for the session. Understand that couple therapy involves a lot of things and your therapist might take you through several exercises. It’s not just about talking since methods like including Imago Relationship Therapy, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy are more complex and involving.
Part of preparing is going over the issues you are trying to get help for through therapy. Ask yourself the following questions as you prepare:
- What are you expecting from your partner during couples therapy?
- What are your therapy expectations in general?
- Are you prepared to answer difficult and personal questions during couples therapy?
- What issues do you think are most important to resolve by the end of the therapy?
- Are you prepared accept responsibility and remain open to guidance during couples therapy?
- What if therapy does not resolve your relationship issue? Are you prepared for outcomes that might be different than your initial goal?
- How do expect your therapist to approach the therapy sessions or do you have any therapy concerns, in general?
These are all important questions that will help you get the most out of your relationship therapy sessions. However, don’t worry if you don’t have all the answers. Your therapist can help you identify more questions and issues that you might be thinking about now and help you to gain clarity in the initial counseling session.
Go Over Your Assumptions and Biases
As an individual, it will help to contemplate your assumptions and biases about your relationship before you attend your first couples therapy session in San Diego. Assumptions and biases are things you think are wrong with your relationship or your partner that need fixing. For instance, you think your partner does not care enough about your feelings or they are not romantic.
At this stage, it’s better if each person takes time alone to reflect and arrange their thoughts and emotions individually. It will help you articulate your issues much more easily during the therapy session so your therapist can capture them and formulate a therapy customized for you.
Entertain Possibility
It doesn’t help to go into marriage therapy with all the negative thoughts and raw emotions about your relationship’s issues. Many couples go in with “guns blazing” ready to attack each other thinking therapy is about finding who is at fault. This usually makes it harder to get the best out of your therapy and leads to even more suffering.
Instead, you can prepare for marriage therapy by entertaining new possibilities about your relationship. For example, therapy may help to illuminate unconscious feelings or beliefs that may lead to more clarity and understand of yourself and your partner.
Preparing for therapy will get both of you on a healing path even before the therapy begins. Your therapist will also find it easier to formulate a strategy that works best for you so you can get value from each session. Take the step today for your relationship with a marriage therapist in San Diego!